


Five times Dorian Pavus was 100% done

by lazbobthing



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: 5 Times, Crack, Dorian being so done with his weird boyfriend, Fluff, Gen, M/M, male inquisitor - Freeform, silliness abounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazbobthing/pseuds/lazbobthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Dorian Pavus walked in on/witnessed his lover, the Inquisitor Lazarus Trevelyan, do something strange/outright weird.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also, how the Nug king allied with the Inquisition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five times Dorian Pavus was 100% done

1.

"Inquisitor, I'd like to speak to you abo-" Dorian, Scion of House Pavus of Tevinter, paused at the scene before him, one eyebrow slowing inching upwards.

Silence reigned.

"....Heeeeyyy." The Inquisitor Lazarus Trevelyan replied, in a cautious yet cheerful voice, not dropping the large stick he held in his hands, the Iron Bull huffing in front of him. 

"Less talk. More hitting." Iron Bull growled. Lazarus turned back to the Qunari and smacked him. Hard.

"Right, so, is no one going to explain this to me?" Dorian complained, crossing his arms and watching with morbid interest as his lover hit the Iron Bull with a stick. 

"You'll be the first to know, once I find out myself, handsome!" Lazarus called, over the sound of Iron Bull growling and cursing. 

Dorian decided that the best course to take here, was to walk away and pretend it never happened.

"Love you~!" Lazarus chirped after the Altus, to the chorus of bestial Iron Bull noises.

 

2.

Dorian exhaled a long breath, one hand coming up to rub at a temple, as he stared at the sight of his lover and Cole, rolling about on the floor in almost a maniac fashion. Lazarus was wearing Cole's hat for some Maker damned reason.

"I'm hoping this isn't what it looks like," He said dryly, causing the two rogues to pause.

"Dorian? Please help." Lazarus' voice was muffled and sounded vaguely panicked. 

"My hat is eating his face, it's stuck." Cole looked distraught.

Dorian stared at the two for a long  moment.

He then turned and walked back downstairs, ignoring Lazarus' dismayed whine and Cole's confused, concerned sounds.

 

3.

Dorian wandered down to the stables, in search of his rather quirky Amatus. He spied a dumbfounded looking Blackwall and a outright cackling Iron Bull, watching the horse stalls. He could hear Lazarus' voice, babbling away nonsensically.

"Oh, maker help me." Dorian said faintly, "What is he doing now?" He directed at Blackwall, who just shook his head slowly.

"See for yourself," Grunted the Warden, nodding towards the sound of nonsense.  With a sigh, the Altus strode forth, only to stop and stare at his lover.

"Dorian! Have you met these adorable bastards yet?" Lazarus beamed at him, his cheek pressed against the nuzzle of a horse. Well, if a horse was a mix between a dragon and a nightmare, that is.

"What, exactly is that, Amatus?" Dorian asked flatly.

"It's a dracolisk. His name is Snuggles." The Inquisitor beamed, as the frightening creature turned its head to utter a menacing hiss at Dorian, its nightmarish mouth opening.

Dorian promptly turned on his heel and shuddered, making a quick retreat.

"He's just jealous, isn't he, Snuggles?" He heard Lazarus coo.

 

4.

"I have to go speak with Solas," Lazarus mumbled breathlessly, reluctant to remove himself from Dorian's embrace, pressing his lips to the taller man's own again, and again.

"You wound me, Amatus," Dorian chuckled, cupping the Rogue's face with both hands for a final kiss, before gently pushing him away. "Go on then, or we'll never hear the end of it!" He teased, enjoying the pretty blush that traveled over the Inquisitor's cheeks.

Lazarus gave him a roguish grin, stepping back against the bannister and grabbing it with both hands, before leaning back, lifting himself up onto his hands, and flipping over the railing.

Dorian let out a strangled "Vishante KAFFAS-" And raced over to the bannister, staring wild eyed down at his obviously insane lover, who had landed in a crouch upon Solas' table.

"Festus bei umo canavarum!" He spat, glowering down at the still grinning Inquisitor.

"I have no idea what that means, but I hope it's nice." Lazarus beamed up at him.

Solas muffled a snort behind his cup of tea.

5. 

Dorian resisted the urge to set everything on fire, staring dully as his lover approached the Nug King, bending on one knee.

"Two years ago, I was on a sun drenched pavilion in Tevinter, enjoying the company of a gorgeous man named Abraxius. Now, here I stand, in a dark, damp cave in the deep roads, watching my Amatus speak to a Nug." He said flatly, arms crossed as he watched Lazarus extend a hand, and seemingly shake the Nug King's paw.

"Oh please," Snorted Varric, "Like you actually want to be anywhere else."

Dorian's retort was cut off by a loud chorus of squeaking, and a grinning Lazarus.

"So, not exactly sure, but I think I just secured an alliance with the Nug King!" The Inquisitor happily proclaimed.

"Of course you did." Dorian face-palmed.

"You're one of a kind, Boss." Iron Bull managed, through snickers.

**Author's Note:**

> I both regret nothing and everything at the same time. Take ny insanity not even the least bit seriously.


End file.
